About enemyofperfect

[enemyofperfect]

Hello there! I'm enemyofperfect, variously called enemy and E by my friends. (I'm a very friendly enemy, I promise.)

I've been at least vaguely active on Dreamwidth for nearly eight years, although I think I lurked in fannish spaces for another four or so years before that, and the internet has been a huge part of my life since... 1996? -Ish? It's been a long time.

The other main places you can find me are enemyofperfect for fanworks and enemyofperfect for general assorted nonsense, but at the moment, I'm most active here.

Some basic demographic info for those interested in such things:

• in my 30s
• very definitely Not Cis
• much clearer on what my gender isn't than what it is
• they/them pronouns please
• white and making an effort to educate myself about my privilege
• US American and trying to be less of an oblivious jerk about it
• unemployed and living with my parents
• able-bodied as yet
• depressed, anxious, and OCD-ridden to varying degrees
• happily taking escitalopram (aka generic lexapro) to medicate the above
• possibly autistic? in this way where I thought that was just the rest of my family until it dawned on me that it would kind of explain a lot?
• raised Christian and personally atheist but thrilled to realize that not all religion is Like That
• mostly monolingual pero hablo un poquito de español

I'm also vegan (but don't proselytize), kind of a social sciences geek (with an emphasis on psychology and linguistics), fond of the MBTI (in much the same way some people are fond of Hogwarts Houses); and pretty much always interested in ethics. I write intermittently, draw occasionally, read constantly, watch television slowly, and play mostly the kind of indie computer games I find online for free, plus D&D once a week.

Speaking of writing and ethics: I guess I'm what you could call an anti-anti inasmuch as I think it's perfectly all right -- and sometimes very valuable -- to write about terrible things. (In fannish communities, we often label the content of such writing for readers' benefit, whether with particular warnings or simply with choose not to warn. I think this practice is very valuable, too, and I've been happy to see it spread.) At the same time, I don't believe that anything goes in fiction, or that there are no conversations to be had about the moral messages of stories. And I don't really believe in being mean to antis, either; from what I can tell, a lot of them are just scared kids.

So what do I believe? Sometimes stories carry messed up, harmful messages -- either ones their authors don't even know they're putting in there, or ones they think are okay but really aren't. I think it's important to have conversations about this, both with respect to stories written outside of fandom and about the stories we write as fans ourselves. But to be absolutely clear, when I say conversations, I don't mean spamming people with hostile messages or telling anyone to kill themself or any kind of harassment like that. I just mean that it's good to talk honestly, and perhaps with curiosity, about the things that matter to us and other people.

Whew, that's not the most fun disclaimer I've ever written. Never a dull minute on the internet, I guess. But anyway!

Anyone is welcome to subscribe or unsubscribe to this journal at any point, with or without greeting or explanation, as you prefer! I don't make a practice of locking posts, but I do grant access to people who've given it to me, because I find symmetry aesthetically pleasing.

I love hearing from people in the comments, whether briefly or at length, on new posts or old, and if you ever feel the need to tell me that I've done something hurtful, I'll do my best to listen. In general, if you ever need me to do something differently, please feel free to ask -- no request too large, small, or idiosyncratic.

Comments

[enemyofperfect]

Possibly autistic solidarity! It's funny how I simultaneously feel like, wait, can I actually say this about myself, do I have that authority? While also feeling like -- wait, how did I go so long without noticing this? Ahaha.

[pink_ink]

hi, um, not sure if it's rude to jump into the conversation. but i just want to say that most autistic self-advocates are very much pro self-diagnosis. one reason for this is that afab people and people of color are vastly underdiagnosed and the medical criteria for diagnosis skew very white and cismale.

the autistic self-advocacy network even lists self-diagnosed autistic folk in their definition of autism (https://autisticadvocacy.org/about-asan/about-autism/).

lots of people start with a self-diagnosis then seek out an official medical diagnosis (which might come with its own risks and hang-ups).

it's also fine to start walking down that road and then go a different direction, i know some folks who figured out they have ADHD that way, for instance.

i don't mean to pressure anyone, but learning all that was very helpful for me so that's why i'm sharing it.

[enemyofperfect]

I really appreciate you joining in, in fact! It's always refreshing when a community decides to work towards inclusion and against gatekeeping, and I love that link you provide.

(Speaking only for myself, I think the some of the doubt about self-identifying as autistic feels... kind of like all the times I asked myself if I was really trans, or just making that up for some unknown reason? Like, it seems to fit, and rationally I know that as you say, there's nothing wrong with exploring that path and seeing where it leads me. It just at the same time feels somehow too bold, like laying claim to something that might not be rightfully mine. But that's just all the more reason I appreciate your contribution here.)

[pink_ink]

glad you enjoyed the link! if you ever would like more resources on the matter, let me know. <3

(i feel you. i'm going through the same thing about using the label trans. even nonbinary was hard for me to use for the longest time bc it felt like i didn't really deserve to use the label somehow...? sigh.)

[enemyofperfect]

Thank you, I really appreciate it. ♥

(That's it, that's the feel. And I guess it makes sense, because what could be more desirable or precious than a piece of yourself that's just out of reach? (I say you when of course I mean me.) But it sure makes things hard sometimes.)