Fangame rec: Become Nothing
Feb. 29th, 2020 01:28 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
enemyofperfectIn my browsing of bookmarks, I'd seen this Detroit: Become Human fanwork around a couple of times, but I was under the impression that it was a ~1k choose-your-own-adventure about Connor voluntarily deleting parts of himself, and I never felt in the mood for that particular flavor of self-destruction.
But today I learned that I had completely misunderstood what it is!
Become Nothing by![[archiveofourown.org profile]](https://p.dreamwidth.org/b164c54b26e4/-/archiveofourown.org/favicon.ico)
AbigailMoment is a fully interactive Twine game (or two) linked from its traditional text prologue, and it's about Connor investigating and struggling against a digital threat he doesn't initially understand. It's creepy and complex and heartbreaking and sometimes hilarious, and it's definitely much longer than a thousand words, even for just a single playthrough.
...I say, as someone who has played it over a dozen times today. And I'm so glad I did! According to the author's note (written in July 2019), there may eventually be a third chapter acting as a coda to the game, but even without it, I consider this work a fantastic story experience.
And I find myself really, really curious about which ending other players like best.
Major spoilers for Become Nothing follow!
I'm a little pleased that I got Backdoor and Deleted Virus before Falling Apart or Amanda's Roses. The other endings -- the ones with a heavier focus on unraveling the mystery of what's destroying you -- were unsurprisingly much harder to get, but they were also so satisfying!
I love AM's combination of intensely opinionated language and fundamental indifference to everything except her own driving dilemma. I completely believe in her as an entity with many of the qualities of personhood as we understand it, but nevertheless frustrated by disparities she's unable to reconcile.
It's my affection for her that made it hard for me to decide on my favorite ending. From Connor's perspective, tactically and ethically, I Can Help seems substantially preferable to Teaching Guilt: AM not only repairs the harm she's done but remains in contact, which seems like a good foundation for potential future cooperation. Plus, Connor hasn't inflicted terrible guilt on someone who goes on to retreat from any possibility of receiving support or comfort!
But from a storytelling perspective, Connor winning AM over with messages of forgiveness and love makes for so much more affecting a story than if he just remembers a fact she finds worth pursuing, and more than that -- I love her reaction when she really realizes the harm she's done. The AM who learns empathy is an AM who becomes not just interesting, but a character I'm really invested in and care about. And I want that version of her to get to exist!
So ultimately -- and even though the ending name makes me feel guilty -- I think Teaching Guilt has to be my favorite.
I guess my feeling is that in I Can Help, Connor convinces AM that he can help her -- but by the end of Teaching Guilt, he already has. He's given her what she's missing.
And that's a really interesting thing for me to say, isn't it? Is what defines personhood not just thinking and having a subjective experience, but being able to recognize those qualities in others?
I not sure I believe that. I'm sure I don't believe that it's morally trivial to destroy AM prior to her epiphany; as Connor observes, she clearly already feels fear or something like it, and that's enough to give her moral standing in my world. But I do feel like she gains something important in the Teaching Guilt branch.
Maybe it's not that empathy makes her a person, but that it allows her to put her personhood to its fullest use, by interacting with or at least relating to others. "I think I am lonely? I don't know," she says, identifying her inability to connect as a possible cause of her discontent (and potential disintegration). I can't speak for all humans, but I'm pretty sure I would fall apart if I had to be so entirely alone.
I really hope that even if Connor can't find her again, post-Teaching Guilt AM finds a way to reach out and find connection somewhere.
In conclusion: It's such a good game, people! It would be harder to play without at least a little canon knowledge, I'm pretty sure, but if you have that (or don't mind some trial and error) and you aren't unduly distressed by the premise, I wholeheartedly recommend it.
But today I learned that I had completely misunderstood what it is!
Become Nothing by
...I say, as someone who has played it over a dozen times today. And I'm so glad I did! According to the author's note (written in July 2019), there may eventually be a third chapter acting as a coda to the game, but even without it, I consider this work a fantastic story experience.
And I find myself really, really curious about which ending other players like best.
Major spoilers for Become Nothing follow!
I'm a little pleased that I got Backdoor and Deleted Virus before Falling Apart or Amanda's Roses. The other endings -- the ones with a heavier focus on unraveling the mystery of what's destroying you -- were unsurprisingly much harder to get, but they were also so satisfying!
I love AM's combination of intensely opinionated language and fundamental indifference to everything except her own driving dilemma. I completely believe in her as an entity with many of the qualities of personhood as we understand it, but nevertheless frustrated by disparities she's unable to reconcile.
It's my affection for her that made it hard for me to decide on my favorite ending. From Connor's perspective, tactically and ethically, I Can Help seems substantially preferable to Teaching Guilt: AM not only repairs the harm she's done but remains in contact, which seems like a good foundation for potential future cooperation. Plus, Connor hasn't inflicted terrible guilt on someone who goes on to retreat from any possibility of receiving support or comfort!
But from a storytelling perspective, Connor winning AM over with messages of forgiveness and love makes for so much more affecting a story than if he just remembers a fact she finds worth pursuing, and more than that -- I love her reaction when she really realizes the harm she's done. The AM who learns empathy is an AM who becomes not just interesting, but a character I'm really invested in and care about. And I want that version of her to get to exist!
So ultimately -- and even though the ending name makes me feel guilty -- I think Teaching Guilt has to be my favorite.
I guess my feeling is that in I Can Help, Connor convinces AM that he can help her -- but by the end of Teaching Guilt, he already has. He's given her what she's missing.
And that's a really interesting thing for me to say, isn't it? Is what defines personhood not just thinking and having a subjective experience, but being able to recognize those qualities in others?
I not sure I believe that. I'm sure I don't believe that it's morally trivial to destroy AM prior to her epiphany; as Connor observes, she clearly already feels fear or something like it, and that's enough to give her moral standing in my world. But I do feel like she gains something important in the Teaching Guilt branch.
Maybe it's not that empathy makes her a person, but that it allows her to put her personhood to its fullest use, by interacting with or at least relating to others. "I think I am lonely? I don't know," she says, identifying her inability to connect as a possible cause of her discontent (and potential disintegration). I can't speak for all humans, but I'm pretty sure I would fall apart if I had to be so entirely alone.
I really hope that even if Connor can't find her again, post-Teaching Guilt AM finds a way to reach out and find connection somewhere.
In conclusion: It's such a good game, people! It would be harder to play without at least a little canon knowledge, I'm pretty sure, but if you have that (or don't mind some trial and error) and you aren't unduly distressed by the premise, I wholeheartedly recommend it.
