Progression of a cold

Me yesterday: Hmm, I wonder if I'm catching that cold that's going around.

Me today: Yup, caught it.

Me six hours ago: I'm not yet so pitiful that I can't, on some level, enjoy feeling pitiful. Given the progression I've observed in others, I'd better make the most of this while it lasts. Oh discomfort and languid malaise; oh woe. *puts hand to brow*

Me one hour ago: ...On the bright side, aches and fatigue make for a much better illness experience than congestion and sore throat. If this can just keep on the way it's been going until my immune system rallies and fights it off, I will have far fewer complaints than usual.

Me now: Why is consciousness. *falls over*