Fuck, but today was an emotionally eventful day.

[enemyofperfect]

Nothing much even happened in it, outside my head. I mean, lots of things happened, obviously, and some of them even affected me, but in terms of my own personal experience, today was not a very exciting day in the life of the world. Outside my head.

Inside my head, though:

I figured out that the reason I've been increasingly failing to cope with life for the last week is that I was triggered -- or something close enough to triggered that I'll call it that, and live with the possibility that I'll repent of that decision someday -- by last week's episode of Covert Affairs.
I journaled about it.
I talked about it, and even had emotions while I was talking about it, and even showed those emotions while I was talking about it, and even -- most amazingly of all -- felt kind of better, after talking and having and showing emotions about it.
I noticed that tearful conversations and nightmare-interrupted sleep had left me exhausted, and took a nap.
I noticed that I was feeling incredibly agitated after tonight's episode of Covert Affairs (yes, yes, I know), and got some exercise, and worked on breathing, and tried to get a handle on how I was feeling.
I figured out why I was triggered by last week's Covert Affairs.
I had a snack when I noticed that I was headachey and unable to concentrate. It helped, both times.
I journaled about all the stuff I realized during much of the above.
I overcame the urge to mock myself for much of the above.
I gave myself credit for all of the above.

I am, I think, in short, something of a hero.

Comments

[catharsis_logs]

wow. Good for you. :) I've been triggered before (probably by something completely different) and it is definitely no fun so I'm glad you were able to deal with it in a healthy way. :)

[enemyofperfect]

Thank you! <3 I still don't feel completely sure about whether "triggered" was the right word in my case, but I was... suddenly back in a state of mind I thought I was more or less rid of, and it wasn't awesome. But it's nice to know someone was listening. :)

[violsva]

It's awful when one thing manages to change your state of mind without you noticing why. But noticing tends to help a lot. And you dealt with it really well. (far better than I tend to) Good for you for giving yourself credit for it.

[enemyofperfect]

With as much experience as I have at dealing with things spectacularly badly, I'm getting pretty determined to give myself all possible positive reinforcement on the occasions when I do get it right. Thank you for weighing in on the side of my better instincts; they can definitely use the support. <3