possibly autistic? in this way where I thought that was just the rest of my family until it dawned on me that it would kind of explain a lot?

I have been feeling this, but afraid to speak it out loud in case it sounded insensitive? I keep reading posts by/about autism and I keep going, haha, I do that too! And after a half dozen of those I'm going o_O and wonder if it's something I should look into or just let ride.

white and making an effort to educate myself about my privilege & US American and trying to be less of an oblivious jerk about it

Also, yes, same to both of these.